


I can't.

by MrscursHere



Category: Smosh
Genre: Dramatic, M/M, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrscursHere/pseuds/MrscursHere
Summary: You can't love someone you work with. But, if the butterflies keep dancing in your tummy, and blue eyes beg for something more, you can't help but try. No matter how heartbreaking it feels knowing that it will always be nothing other than friends. And excuses only fold into more questions.
Relationships: Damien Haas/Shayne Topp
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	I can't.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not actually ship Damien and Shayne and real life. Please don't force a relationship or sexuality on either of them, no matter how real it may seem. If its real, then great throw a party. If not, respect the lives they are going to lead, please.
> 
> I do hope you like this one , im not sure what Im going for though.

Shayne awkwardly shuffled about his living room, his candles burning the air in clumps of vanilla and rain forest. Yesterday, while talking on the phone with Damien, he'd joked about his friend coming over to his apartment. It was just nearing Halloween, and neither smosh boys had any idea what they wanted to do. With election date running closer than ever, the idea of sitting on his dulled out couch with Damimen felt like a therapy session for two. And Shayne had been pleased by Damien answering a happy but sleepy yes.

So here he was, skipping around his wooden floors, fixing everything in sight and spraying disinfectant across the walls. The mixture of odd smells could of been disorienting for anyone else, but to Shayne it felt natural. He stepped out to his kitchen, grabbing two glasses for Damien and himself, when he heard a change in lock. Speak of the devil, the man had let himself in, a bubbly look in his eyes.

"How you doing, Dames." Shayne mumbled out, grabbing a bottle of straight up bourbon to compliment the occasion. Despite it being only late October, the windows were laden in frost and the air felt heavy and breakable. Damien, who was severely underdressed for the weather, wiped his eyes with his sleeve and managed a smile for Shayne, "I'm doing alright, Buddy. You know, Zelda's been a little more jittery, lately."

Shayne hummed in response, "I bet she misses you, which is a little strange. Shes never been one for visitors. I'm almost worried that she likes you more than _me._ Terrifying. But.." Damien glanced at the couch, not knowing if he wanted to sit or stand. He ended up leaning against the wall, "We all should know that that would never happen in a million years." 

The rest of the evening soaked away, as the two of them sipped their drinks down, talking a storm and smiling like idiots. At some point, laying his head on the sofa seat beside damien, Shayne smiled softly to himself. This loser is actually his best friend. His face soured in consideration.

At around eleven, both of them were tipsy and somehow exhausted, leaned against eachover. A thought came over Damiens thoughts, clouding his mind. He tugged away, forcing down a smirk at Shaynes whine of protest, and precisely looked through his playlist. Shayne caught his eye in confusion when a soft melody played out across the room, dimmed by mediocre sound quality.

"Keith's been teaching me a little on zoom. Difficult, I know, but-" He stretched out his hand to Shayne, "I've always wanted to do this with somebody."

Despite his better judgment, Shaynes hand locked with Damiens, warm on warm. Twisting round, the two spun eachover over, stepped on each others toes and made up moves that couldn't be considered "correct", but it felt comfortable. Perfect in the fact that it wasn't perfect. And Shaynes giggles turned to chuckles, and eventually he was moving fast, full out laughing with blue eyes wide and happy. Actually happy. And Damien soon joined in, with a lighter grace on his feet but no more gentle, picked up his pace. When the song smoothed itself out, both were slightly breathless. From what, they could care less.

And in that moment, life felt easy. Life felt like a gift, a blessing, like everything was fine and dandy as long as Damien had his arms on his shoulders. And for a glossy moment of breathing deeply and the warm space they left from, of red cheeks and unreserved smiles, it felt like everything would be fine with them. With us. But glorious things have a record of being short, and as blue met hazel, the two shuffled away, body apart but still locked together.

Damien looked desperate, "But, can't we-"

"No" Shayne cut him off immediately. The words weren't meant to hurt, but sometimes you can still commit murder in surprise, even to yourself. Shayne, in the name of guilt and compromise, softened his voice, "I know you want to. I do too. But you also know by now that we can't. We haven't been able too for awhile. Not as long as were apart of this company." 

"We could always quit." Shayne shook his head, lowering his eyes to avoid Deem's large bambi ones, ones that were looking for a happily ever after. "Thats just reckless, you can't afford to quit. Please give this up." Shayne lowered his voice, "The second we get the chance, I promise you that we'll be more, but right now thats illegal. And as much as I want to kiss you, kissing you involves lying, and were not good at lying. We'll slip up in our everything and tell them indirectly. And then we will be fired and I don't want that. So for now, I am your friend. And friends, _c_ _oworkers,_ Dont love each other. At least, not like that."

The room settled into silence. Understanding gripped their surroundings, despit the alcohol still buzzing in both their viens. And maybe thats what caused them to get reckless, what encouraged them to tip the boat a bit to far. And that longing that the felt, even though they were just six feat apart, made that regret stick to their skin. And while they wanted, needed this, their was too much at stake to actually do it.

So Damien did what Damien does best. With sweet eyes, he closed the distance and held Shaynes hand, tightly woven like a lifeline. What would Ian think of them now? Shayne looked up, lawful resentment reeked out his expression, not for Damien but the situation. "Please let me go. At least for now." He was going for monotone, but his words were too quiet, too frigid to not sound frightened. His voice cracked. 

Damien didn't. He sighed softly, a small smile, could barely be called that, lingered longer than necessary. "I'm not gonna let you go." Damien carefully pulled Shayne into his chest, flowing painted nails through blonde hair, uncharacteristically heavy. The way Shayne melted explained it all, exactly why they didn't hug each other in public, why the idea of holding each other had basically been outlawed since that fateful day in 2017. Damien hummed that same melody from the song, low and gentle, stripped of any overdone elements backing it up. Raw and real.

"I can hug you and still be your _Best friend,_ baby-boy, I promise. And if it gets too much, I'll just tell them were holding hands cause its cold outside and its taking too long for your pockets to heat up." Damien rubbed shapes into Shaynes back, his chin resting in his strawberry blonde hair. Shayne was looking over at the clock before digging his nose back into Dames necks. 12:11 AM. "I can always come up with some excuse. Thats what improvs good for."

They swayed lightly, not realizing what they were doing. "I can learn to lie a little, as I am an actor. As long as I can keep doing this with you."


End file.
